Kids Are Listening: Why Parents Set the Tone for Rugby League Culture

Rugby league is a passionate sport. We love it. We live and breathe it. But with that passion comes a responsibility, especially when there are young eyes and ears around.

If you’ve ever said something heated during a game or commented online after a tough loss, here’s something to sit with: your kids are watching. They’re listening. And they’re learning what it means to be a fan, and how to act within the game – from you.

Kids Don’t Just Watch the Game – They Watch You

It starts in the lounge room. You might not even realise you’re doing it, but when a player drops a ball or misses a conversion and you start yelling at the TV or calling them names, your child is right there, soaking it in.

Then you’re at a game and you see a kid flipping the bird to a player lining up a kick. And it’s not a one-off. It’s not “just kids being kids.” That’s learnt behaviour. That’s a kid who’s been taught, directly or indirectly, that mocking or abusing players is part of the culture.

We can’t pretend this stuff happens in a vacuum. It doesn’t. It starts at home. It starts with us.

“It’s Just Banter” or Is It?

There’s a fine line between passionate support and flat-out toxicity, and a lot of people cross it thinking it’s just part of being a fan.

Social media has amplified it. You see grown adults abusing players online, saying things they’d never say to someone face-to-face, and laughing about it like it’s nothing. But our kids are seeing that too – and guess what? They think that’s how you ‘support’ your team. That abuse is just part of the game.

It’s not. It’s damaging, not just to the players, but to the culture we’re passing down.

Junior Footy Isn’t Immune

And let’s not pretend it only starts once they’re old enough to know all the NRL players. Toxic behaviour is happening on the sidelines of junior footy every weekend.

Parents yelling at coaches because their kid didn’t get enough game time. Complaining about other kids. Gossiping and forming cliques. Undermining volunteers who are just trying their best. All while the kids are watching and absorbing every bit of it.

This isn’t building a love for the game. It’s building entitlement, resentment, and ego, and that’s not what grassroots footy should be about.

“Toughen Up” Isn’t the Answer

Every time this conversation comes up, someone jumps in with “people are too sensitive” or “it’s just how it is, harden up.”

But let’s be real. Calling out poor behaviour isn’t about making people soft. It’s about making the game better.

There’s a big difference between being passionate and being disrespectful. Belligerence isn’t love for the game. Screaming abuse at a player or a coach doesn’t make you a better fan. It just sets a really poor example.

And if we want the next generation to love this sport in a way that’s sustainable and respectful, we need to be more civilised.

What Happens When Parents Get It Right

When parents model respect, kindness, and fair play, you see it ripple through their kids. You see kids cheer effort, not just wins. You hear them say things like “bad luck” instead of “you suck.” You see them high-five the kid from the other team after a good try.

That’s the culture we should be building. One where loving the game doesn’t come at the expense of someone else’s dignity.

What You Can Do as a Parent

• Think before you speak: in the living room, at the game, or online.

• If someone near you is setting a bad example, say something – especially if kids are around.

• Chat to your child about what they hear and see at games. Help them process it.

• Encourage a love for the game that goes beyond the scoreboard – the teamwork, the resilience, the joy of just playing.

Final Thoughts: Let’s Be Better

Rugby league is bigger than a single team or a final score. It’s a community. And it’s up to us, the adults in the room, to decide what kind of community it’s going to be.

If you love the game, if you want your child to grow up loving it too, lead by example. Be the reason they grow up cheering, not jeering. Because they’re listening. And what we teach them today shapes the culture of tomorrow.